Home

[icon] This station is non-operational.
View:Recent Entries.
View:Archive.
View:Friends.
View:User Info.
You're looking at the latest 20 entries.
Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries

Current Music:My Bloody Valentine : Blown A Wish
Subject:musical musings
Time:04:36 am
Current Mood:pleasant
I was sitting around thinking about what the perfect album would sound like, to me. I would love nothing more than to create something ambient but rhythmic, with dark, haunting remnants of the albums that have influenced my life. If you know what Burial(dubstep, garage) sounds like, almost like what he does, but modeled after specific guidelines or criteria that I would pick out by analyzing all my favorite albums. Then I thought, "well, that is an infinite, open-ended list, and it would take me forever", so I decided to narrow it down to ten.

In no specific order, then ten most influential albums on my life.

Marilyn Manson : Mechanical Animals
My Bloody Valentine : Loveless
Slipknot : Slipknot
Aesop Rock : Labor Days
Wu-Tang Clan : Enter The Wu-Tang(36 Chambers)
Kylie Minogue : Fever
Mindless Self Indulgence : Frankenstein Girls Will Appear Strangely Sexy
Venus Hum : Big Beautiful Sky
Tori Amos : From The Choirgirl Hotel
The Beatles : Abbey Road

A good start to modeling my own perfect album. I'm curious to hear about anyone else's top ten influentials as well, so respond if you fancy.
comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment Add to Memories Tell a Friend

Subject:Swivel!
Time:03:19 pm
Why not have a swivel listening to Whistla on subfm! 3-5 pm eastern time. 8-10pm london time.

click here to listen!
comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment Add to Memories Tell a Friend

Subject:Party Party!
Time:01:56 pm
Current Mood:[mood icon] excited




Big one! Patrick's(Conscious Pilot) first real headlining show, if I am not mistaken. Peep the dope art done by monsta. Big him up bruv!

Gonna get messy in upstate New York. Bass weight!

Check out his original tunes. Conscious Pilot! Badman Tunes!
comments: Leave a comment Add to Memories Tell a Friend

Current Music:The Decemberists
Subject:how his guts were all suspended in his fingers...
Time:01:24 pm
Current Mood:[mood icon] happy
I saw the decemberists perform last week in illadelph. The highlights were sing-a-longs, a fake russian dancing contest, and they did "July, July!!" I honestly didn't think they would, but before we left I said, "I really hope they play july, july." Tits.
comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment Add to Memories Tell a Friend

Time:11:55 am
oi oi.

I've been feeling the blogging itch once again. Hello to everyone!
comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment Add to Memories Tell a Friend

Current Music:Modest Mouse : The World at Large
Subject:claims.
Time:03:36 pm
Welp, I contacted Geico, and she had already reported it, so I just gave them some info, and a claims adjuster should be in touch in the next 24-48 hours. I'm still sort of shitting myself, because I don't know if they deem it totaled, if they take my car. I've dumped all kind of money into her engine, and my car is relatively young, despite the year, it's engine only has 100k miles on it. So, if they offer the blue book value, it still isn't going to be enough, I mean, I love that car. It's a bizarre sentiment, but honestly, I have been through so much in my life with that car, I feel like it is indeed an extension of my personality. All my friends say when they see a little civic hatch, they think of me, and I always smile.

We'll see what happens, I suppose. I'm not going to sit around and think about it, because I'll just stress.

Today is gonna be better than the past week, because I can go get my paycheck. A trip to the grocery store, and a couple packs of cigs, and I'll be good to sit in for the weekend untilo my car is fixed.

Actually, Theresa + Candice's big birthday bash at Ole Tyme Charleys is tomorrow, so the beligerence and debauchery level should be near apex levels.

I'm going to get on here and post some pics. Some dubstep parties, some house parties, some thanksgiving pics. But for now, I'm out.
comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment Add to Memories Tell a Friend

Current Music:slowdive : when the sun hits
Subject:quickly.
Time:05:24 am
Current Mood:[mood icon] sleepy
Here is a quick rundown of things that have happened in no particular order:

-Got into an accident. A woman ran a red light, and smashed the front right end of my car. I wasn't terribly injured, but I was driving without insurance. So while it was her fault, she admitted, I still got a citation for driving without insurance, which I'm sure will pack a hefty fine. I am going to contact her insurance tomorrow, to see what they're going to do about fixing my car. I've got my fingers crossed that everything goes smoothly.

-Been actually doing a little bit with music. I produced a dubstep track that my friend Patrick spins when he dj's. I have a bunch more in the works, just need to buckle down and finish. My problem is that when I get into making it, I start messing with reverb and delay and I get so lost in playing with it, that I lose direction, and end up listening to echoes of voices for three hours. It's fun, but it doesn't yield any results. So, I have been struggling with that, but it's good to be making music. If interested you can check out my myspace http://www.myspace.com/eskodubstep

-Gave up fast food. I have decided that, in addition to the countless health benefits, I am giving it up because I am sick of paying for shitty food. When I cook food for myself, it is always to taste. All those grimey fast food places, don't give a shit about anything but money, so I'm going to keep mine, and have good food and fuck them over. w00t for cooking.

I have like 10 more things I want to write about, but the combination of white noise from the fan and the soft hum of slowdive from the speakers is lulling me to sleep.
comments: 9 comments or Leave a comment Add to Memories Tell a Friend

Subject:weeme!
Time:12:12 am
comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment Add to Memories Tell a Friend

Current Music:Boards of Canada : Gyroscope
Subject:Did you say "Cool off."?
Time:03:28 am
This shit just got real.

I just got done watching "Hot Fuzz", the new Edgar Wright movie, and it was, undoubtedly, brilliant. His directing is so rad, I have yet to see the fake trailer for "Don't" that he did for the new Tarantino/Rodriguez movie. But, yeah, HF was fucking hilarious, and action-packed, lot of inside jokes, round and round a jolly good time.
comments: Leave a comment Add to Memories Tell a Friend

Subject:Nudge, eh?
Time:01:04 am
Hi. :)
comments: 11 comments or Leave a comment Add to Memories Tell a Friend

Subject:not as goth
Time:03:33 pm
Say Hi to Your Mom.
comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment Add to Memories Tell a Friend

Current Music:My Life w/the Thrill Kill Kult : Blue Buddha Bombgang Girls
Subject:ultraflesh is what we got.
Time:07:55 pm
Who's behind closed doors?

Hello people of the internets.

The reason I haven't been posting is because everything has been shit. I feel no need to further elaborate, but suffice it to say it need not be remembered in written word. I am, however, clawing my way out of depression with lofty ambitions for the new year. For a pothead such as myself, this includes such things as posting to my journal, taking more pictures, yadda yadda. You know the drill. The horse's corpse is pulpy.

Speaking of dead horses, I hate how things still say "seasons greetings" or are still decorated for christmas. Give it a god damn rest.

Playboys and Playgirls.

Who's behind closed doors?

My room desperately needs cleaning, and my box of super hit incense has dwindled into a bag with a bit of dust in the bottom. I want to try to buy the boxes in bulk, because I seem to burn so much. I just love the smell. Right when I wake up, as I am thinking about the day before and the day beginning. In the bathroom, as I shower. Right after I eat. Everytime I smoke. I'm addicted to it.

Blue Buddah.
comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment Add to Memories Tell a Friend

Time:10:26 am
I tend to remember bearded faces.
I been through a plethora of weirder places.
The stasis, a stagnance. I fear complacence.
But the basis, for balance, adheres adjacent.
comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment Add to Memories Tell a Friend

Current Music:junior boys : teach me how to fight
Subject:show me what it's like...
Time:09:46 am
Live journal, right.

I am back in Pennsylvania. As far as my life goes, everything has completely changed in the past two months. Like, dramatically.

First, the stuff with my mom, her drug addiction, the stuff with my family. Then, shortly after our three year anniversary, Jon and I split up. There was no drama, no fighting, no resentment, which made the break-up even harder. At least when you want to leave it gives you bit of motivation, but when all you want to do is stay, driving away is the hardest thing to do. But sometimes, it is indeed the right thing.

As if those two major things weren't enough, a good friend of mine hung himself. He was always struggling with heroin addiction, and has tried to kill himself before. And we never had much contact anymore, besides through instant messages and the likes, but it was really fucking tragic for me. I have never really had a close friend die, let alone kill themselves. It kind of really fucked me up in the head, and I know I'm still not quite right, yet.

However, amidst all these different changes, I came back to Wilkes-Barre, for the time being, to get some direction. And it is like I came full circle, back to the place it started. And now I need to set forth another path. I don't regret the past three years of my life, and I know I am a better person now, because of the time i spent with Jon. And I will never forget that, but, I think we could both find someone better for us. And what is even scarier to me, is I think I have. But thats another story entirely.

Right now, I am crashing at chrystal's house, with all my friends, and it has been cathartic. Everyone is so witty, and affable, I had forgotten how well everyone gets on. It makes me really happy, but at the same time, I am really sad too. It is rough not having a place to get away to, when you just don't want to be around a whole lot of people. This has been an extremely fucked up two months, and I bet the next two months are going to be similar. Sometimes, I just want to be alone. But, I appreciate everything I have.

I'll come back with more to say when I think of it.
comments: 6 comments or Leave a comment Add to Memories Tell a Friend

Current Music:The Flaming Lips : Do You Realize?
Subject:just an illusion
Time:04:27 am
Current Mood:[mood icon] weird
Do you realize, that you have the most beautiful face?
Do you realize, we're floating in space?
Do you realize, that happiness makes you cry?
Do you realize, that everyone you know someday will die?

And instead of saying all of your goodbyes...
Let them know, you realize that life goes fast,
it's hard to make the good things last.
You realize the sun doesn't go down,
it's just an illusion caused by the world spinning 'round.

Do you realize?
Do you realize, that everyone, you know
Someday will die?

And instead of saying all of your goodbyes...
Let them know, you realize that life goes fast,
it's hard to make the good things last.
You realize the sun doesn't go down,
it's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round.

Do you realize, that you have the most beautiful face?
Do you realize?
comments: 5 comments or Leave a comment Add to Memories Tell a Friend

Current Music:The Orb : Falkenbruck
Subject:funnies from wiki (donkey punch)
Time:01:11 pm
Current Mood:[mood icon] amused
"The practice of hitting one's partner for sexual enjoyment is familiar (see sadism and masochism), but in the various joke-descriptions of the donkey punch more exotic rationales are often given for it. For example, sometimes it is said to cause the muscles around the vagina or anus to contract around the penis, giving enhanced pleasure to the active partner. In reality, punching someone in the back of the head (rabbit punching) can damage the brain stem, causing death or permanent injury."
comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment Add to Memories Tell a Friend

Current Music:The Decemberists : O Valencia
Subject:living.
Time:02:30 pm
Pennsylvania in 5 days.

In my post about my mom, I was being very selfish. Very unfair. This is not my problem. This is her problem. Granted, I may lose a mom, but she has much much more at stake. I need to keep a clear head, and realize that she is probably more scared than anything. Because I know my mom, and this is not how she is. She is probably devastated, and I know she needs help. And my brother is too violent to help, my sister too young.

I recieved a phone call from my brother yesterday, informing me he was going to try and get custody of my sister, and put my mom in the psyche/rehab hospital. I'm honestly trying not to deal with it until I get up there.

But, this new decemberists cd is seriously saving my life. I was wrought with sadness when I heard about my mom, an emotional volcano. I lost my glasses on my way to work, because I was so frazzled. Left them on top of the car. The brightside is I have a backup pair. The sucky thing is they hurt my nose real bad, because they were made too small or something.

Oh yeah, the cd. It has kind of taken my mind off all the drama, getting lost in the stories. And all the tragedy and love in the songs, makes me think about my life. And all of this shit that is going down, it kind of makes me happy in a morbid sort of way. Because I am living right now. And, if nothing else, thats worth being happy about.

Always.
comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment Add to Memories Tell a Friend

Current Music:The Decemberists : The Crane Wife 1 & 2
Subject:then she stood to fly...
Time:08:59 am
omfg new decemberists so fucking good.
comments: Leave a comment Add to Memories Tell a Friend

Subject:oxy to heroin
Time:05:26 pm
My whole life has been smashed to pieces.

The one woman who was ever there for me, while slowly going astray, has inevitably completely lost her way. Forsaken the things she claims to have loved. Lied. Lied. Lied.

I feel betrayed, and hurt, and more importantly irate.

How do you punch your own daughter in the face? How do you lie to your son about things for money? How do you put your other son(who has kids) in prison because he is mad about your drug usage?

My mother has done all these things, and much, much more.

I am so mad I could explode.
comments: 5 comments or Leave a comment Add to Memories Tell a Friend

Subject:the word gutted.
Time:12:24 am
Gutted is a slang word I learned from Jon, and the minute he introduced it to me, it infected my vocabulary.

I don't know where he learned it, but I believe something about a st. louis drag queen rings a bell. Anyway, its usage was further displayed by Farrin and Mariela, and Jonathan, numerous times in every conversation. And now, I am totally the same way.

It has also spread to my circle of friends, and even my mom knows of it. I say, "work was gutted", and she knows I mean that I had a shit night, not that bulldozers came and plowed the place. My best of friends back home all say it.

If I had to define gutted, I'd say, *ahem*

Gutted:a state of being too desperate to describe with more than one word. I think maybe "good expectations gone unfilled" is a fair definition as well.

However in the case of severity, adjectives such as Super, Extremely, Mega, and Ridiculously can be added before gutted, for a very desirable display of disgust.
comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment Add to Memories Tell a Friend

Advertisement

[icon] This station is non-operational.
View:Recent Entries.
View:Archive.
View:Friends.
View:User Info.
You're looking at the latest 20 entries.
Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries